Alien round the world

Even though the warmth and the great food celebrated by the gay B&B hosts in Stowe, VT was quite overwhelming, I had to move again, but not before hiking mount Mansfield and checking the local breweries - of course. Jaaa haa.

(Insert photo of insane climb on the DDD trail up to the summit.)

If I would still struggle with pimples, having rings in my nose, nipples and … while expressing myself by wearing ugly heavy metal t-shirts, then Burlington, with it’s just 40′ inhabitants the biggest city of VT, would definetely the place to stay. Unfortunately I had just past this stage of development and so was Burlington quickly past as well.

Eventualy Lake Placid, which I had to pass at the same speed, reminded me of an even earlier stage of my Orangian development when Oranginas (female young Orangians) were very much into horses and I started to feel like a stallion. Since the Oranginas wanted only ponies to ride on subconsciously I developed a strange allergy for horses. This allergy yet got worse in Lake Placid again, because this probably usually nice town was super packed with horses, humans but unfortunately no Oranginas so that there was definetely no space left for me and my allergy.

(Insert photo of crowded main street in Lake Placid and the meadows filled with tents and horses preparing for a giant horse show.)

Finally I found a cozy spot in the next town, Saranac Lake, where I spent a gorgeous day kajaking the waters, getting an UV overdose and seting up the washing mobile to prepare for a clean departure tomorrow. BTW the washing mobile is an advanced alien technology to dry off anywhere you like. Jaaa haaa!

Finally I had to come to Vermont to get a stable connection to the interstellar network to continue my report on the latest discoveries…

After I couldn’t find a spot at the shoreline in Cape Ann where the grilling of Muppets was allowed, I fortunately found an equivalent delicious replacement right there. Even though this replacement reminds me a bit of a missing person from our neighbouring solar system Redinia, namely Dr. Soiberg, I found no peoccupation trying to crack the species hard shells. Jaaa haaa. The meat was juicy, sweet and tender - and dipping the meat in warm butter, along with some bluecheese spinach salat was the perfect combination together with the amazing view over the salt marsh from my balcony to say goodbye to the Ocean for quite a while.

(Insert photo of Dr. Soiberg on an Orange plate here.)

Using the terrific ancient Alien GPS technology to find the shortest route to the NH lakes region revealed a yet undiscoverd similarity the US and third world planets have in common. I figured that the road speed limits set by the local steering comittees are no limits for security purposes or just to hassel the driver. Absolutely wrong. They are soley set for informing the traveler about the maximum speed the road conditions allow to travel before an average midrange vessel breaks completely apart.
Ok, I’m already used to the Main roads it the cities, where a single average US city at the eastcoast has more pitholes and dangerous cracks than all streets of South East Asia have combined, but it was a complete new experience to run into a unpaved gravel road with roughly 40mph - and I found that the posted 30 was far more the double my vessel could go without taking severe damage.

This fact also cleans up with another preoccupation I had previously. I always thought that people riding those big SUVs are soley compensating the lack of big friends like the fisherman in a former report talked about. The case is that they indeed need those trucks either to travel to Asia or to drive at the maxium speed posted - thus it’s a simple necessity, no more. Easy.

Anyhow, after spending a beatitiful day kajaking without pitholes on the W lake no Alien can pronounce the name of, I felt like hiking in the White Mountains since weather conditions with water from above and below are inconvenient and make kajaks sink.

Another discovery I made in the mountains is about the habits of the local tourists. One might has in mind those guys spend a weekend in nature for biking, hiking or animal watching. Wrong, they don’t. Right. Since the mountain cities like North Convey or Lincoln were set up as ski resorts for the masses, the local businessmen were very clever to declare the White Mountains as “four seasons” attractions by seting up want to be Disneylands, waterparks - and of course for the bigger ladies among us - huge shopping centers and outlet malls. Great! - shopped half a day, spent almost no money, since down here you only save money while shopping, and got most of the items I was looking for. Perfect. Thank you so much for this unexpected mountain experience.

Nevertheless I found myself a very unique and cozy inn out of town and away from the Disney’s hustle and bustle called the Christmas Farming. Although I couldn’t reveal their secret about farming Christ, since they probably ony harvest once a year, I finally had some amazing hikes through the locals woods. Thanks to Christ and his mas/mess farm. Jaaa haaa.

(Insert picture of me browsing at outlet stores and ruining the new shirt later in the mud on a beautiful rainy hike.)

As you know, the steering is quite demanding about the up to date report. Usually I would have been dismissed from my mission not sending signals about recent discoveries back to Orangina. Due to the fact that my optical transmitter can not be revived to capture and send impressions, I sent a gimme-a-break signal back Home.

Fortunately even I am at work full time during my mission, I got a few days off. And since even Orangians spend their vacactions with their most loved, my Angel came by to Earth. Yes!
My lovely Angel visitied to see how my mission proceeds and we spent some amazing vacation days together. Jaaa haaa haaa!

Let me quickly resume the corse trip outline before I get into more details in the forthcoming reports.

Exploring the Big Orange after Steve renamed it to Apple was a true breeze with her. This concrete jungle was so dense that even after more than a week in a superb local appartment on the 12th floor and the quite nice outlook from the terrace would have been very boughring without the Alien support of my sweet better half.
Tripping up some island the streches quite long to meet the celebrities in the south of Hampton was an gorgous experience. After the help of some local water vessels to cross the ocean, we ended up in a very Mystic and beautifully laid back town. Continuing up the shoreline with a visit to the local Cape brought us finaly to the home of my best friend Sam. His local influence and export of his brewing technology is not the only thing we enjoyed pretty much in his home town.

After the sad goodby when my Angle flew Home today I finaly ended up where they invented the glow sticks - right in Glow-ster as the locals pronounce it, although they spell it incorrectly as Gloucester. A beautiful view overseeing the beach and the ocean is the right spot to get focused on my mission again and plan the next exploration trips ahead.

PS: Thanks to some technology transfer my Angel made possible, I mastered to get some of the most important pictures online…

Once the steering committee assigned me to this mission I felt quite happy that they had chosen me. One reason for their choice might be my former exploration missions to the Alien gathering that takes place once a year in a desert on Earth. Fortunately this event put me into the advantage of making lots of friends with the local carbon based species – which is important for the steering committee to find out whether there is still no intelligent life on Earth which makes a good base for a future expansion of our territory.

Anyhow, during my beach exploration mission driving up the coast from AC to NYC I was so lucky my Alien technology steering device took me to Max by coincidence. Jaaaa haaa. Yes, Max is a friend I meet in the desert first but didn’t discover her true values at that time. She is not only a very friendly, truly beautiful and a very bright human being but also she’s also a brilliant tour guide, a perfectly funny company and a strong party animal as there is none else to compare to on this planet. After a non Muppet but equally superb dinner where we ate water animals that due to their color after cooking might be related to our planet somehow, I was very satisfied, full, drunk and completely dumb after sharing this smoky green tea we had for desert. Well done, Max, well done!

As if this was not already enough she even invited me to stay at her house, showed me the area from a local’s perspective and took me out to a very interesting, funny and unique party – on a Sunday. It was not only unique we went on Sunday but also that the party was different of what I had expected. Of course I expected a party with girls half my age, most of them drunk and almost naked. Easy prey for an Orangian. Jaaa haaa – but nothing equal or even close was the case. Instead there were mostly well build half naked male species fondling and kissing each other on the dance floor like only the Muppets do on Orangina. This was a very funny and truly unique experience – far beyond my expectations and I enjoyed this evening pretty much since I was not aware I was sooo adorable…

My simple recommendation after this hilarious days in Breadly Beach – take it always to (the) Max and you’ll have a great time. Jaaa haaa.

Addendum - unfortunately short before reaching NYC the camera of this allmighty smartphone broke. That’s why there are currently no pictures available to the stories but we get it fixed shortly. The NYC stories are not written yet. Be prepared for some brand new discoveries to come.